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Blog Entry 126 of 135 The Jail Bird

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Spending time in jail.

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Contributed by: William Kus on 4/21/2008

I'm going to try and keep things positive. I had started this post fairly negatively but I realized that doesn't help anybody, especially not myself.

It's easy to be negative if you've spent time in jail. It's easy to blame people. It's easy to blame others for your situation, it's easy to blame the police, the "system", your family and even blame God.

It's easy to make excuses.

Or you can accept responsibility for your actions, learn from them and try to make yourself a better person. You can look towards the future and thank God things weren't worse.

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I am hoping I can somehow get it back,my inspiration that is. Originally I had posted that I had somehow lost my ability to ramble. But hey I can still do it.

I dunno if it ever really left me. I can use my experiences to somehow motivate me, but it is difficult.

It's really embarassing to admit I had spent time injail and am now an official "felon" with a strike on my record.But I am what I am.

I had originally posted that jail had sapped my inspiration. But jail can't do that, only I can take it away and only God can give it back. And he does.

I'm not going to hide my jail time. I'm hoping people can see that I'm just a person who made some bad choices. Just like many people in jail.

I want to complain but complaining always makes it worse. I want to be angry but I don't want to be like many of the people I meet in everyday life.

Sometimes it seems that life is so hopeless, but I guess it builds character.

Maybe it might be interesting if I wrote about what goes on here day to day.

I went to jail for threatening my neighbors. Now I can't go back to my house and am in a program meant to change me. I could be angry but I'm not. I'm just really disappointed in myself.

I am now taking classes in anger management and drug rehabilitation.The whole situation is depressing sometimes. And sometimes it's not.

I have to realize that I control my emotions.

My tone always ends up getting into a self-pitying type of behavior which I'm trying to change. It's difficult though. I keep telling myself to try and build some character.

Writing is theraputic, but I don't get to touch a computer very often anymore. I hope to get back to writing.

It might not be a bad idea to try and do some stories about this place. Although there needs to be a way to see if the classes are working or not.

Well, it's nice to be writing again.

I know while I was in jail, I longed to touch a computer and reach the outside world.

It also showed me that most of the people in jail are just normal people. That many of the people in jail aren't as off balanced as many of the people you meet in everyday life.

But for whatever reason some people get thrown in jail and some people don't. A lot depends on the opinion of the police.

You can be charged for any reason and must sit in jail and endure a lengthy process. Even if you are completely innocent, you can literally sit in jail for years fighting your case.

Life is strange. It makes me realize how unfairly many people have been treated. Although in my case I did do wrong and was punished regardless of the circumstances leading up to it.

I hope to help people who ended up in the same situation. We make some bad choices and want to change.

But now many things are stacked against us.

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I also wanted to say "Wow my Tom Cruise post got 1600 views!". What's the deal with that.

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