Those who listen to the news know that recently, hotel heiress Leona Helmsley permanently checked out of her earthly penthouse. Helmsley, often referred to as "The Queen of Mean" because of her reportedly less than compassionate personality, did apparently have one soft spot.

She left her dog ten million dollars while two of her grandchildren received nothing.
Since there were no apparent issues concerning this shrewd woman's mental capacity, the gift will stick. Fido will probably be able to buy a listing in the social register, assuring a place in such circles where he will be much better liked than his former mistress.

One wonders why this decision was made. One could argue that by leaving the money to the dog, Mrs. Helmsley was actually making a personal statement about her feelings for the relatives she cut out of the estate plan. I mean, it would seem bad enough if grandma left you nothing, but how would you feel if she left you nothing and then gave ten million dollars to the dog?!

I would suggest that I might have to stagger to a therapist's couch under such circumstances. The issue would be whether or not I could afford it.

Mrs. Helmsley specified in the the document that the reason for cutting the grand kids out was "known to them". Of course, this was proclaimed loudly in the international press.

Can you imagine the humiliation if you were cut out of the will while the dog got ten million, and the world was told that you knew just how you had screwed it up? Think about it. Every person these grand kids know will be asking themselves for years just what they did to merit such intentional and public shame.

Of course, Helmsley was the "Queen of Mean". When her son died, she sued the widow. Perhaps very few could have passed through the purgatory required to receive a bequest from her. One could certainly argue that avoiding her approval might have been the sign of an excellent character.

In the alternative, there is the possibility that Helmsley didn't like the dog, and that the bequest was intended to ruin him. I mean, we all know that dogs will consume anything that gives them pleasure or fulfills an appetite. Maybe she just figured the hound will use the wealth to buy contraband doggie chocolates and would O.D. within a few short months. Perhaps overwhelming man's best friend with too much, too fast was Leona's way of proving just how mean she was.

Of course, one may ask, how will the dog be able to experience the difference between being rich and being poor? Well, frankly I've seen comparable situations with people. I've never had the pleasure of a visit to Europe, but I know some who have. And a few of them wouldn't know the difference between Big Ben and a Big Mac.

They say youth is wasted on the young. Well, wealth is wasted on anyone but me.

And maybe you. But then again, I'm not as mean as Leona.