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Blog Entry 11 of 20 Tarzana Housewife Trials and Triumphs

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What is 'grace?'

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Contributed by: Kathleen Melton on 11/28/2007

"What is grace?" A 7year-old I know quite well turned his inquisitive face to me and asked after I suggested he lead grace at the dinner table. I looked, evidently a bit shocked, to his mother who quickly quipped, "We do not worship in our house. You can say grace if you want."

I wasn't sure what to say. I don't think of grace as worship. I don't think of it as belonging to any faith. This was not a religious holiday gathering, but it was a time to be thankful, grateful.

We don't do it every meal, but in my family we often go around the dinner table and say something about our day or someone opts to lead grace, whatever that means for him or her in that moment.

So I asked around in my very "melting pot" circle of friends and colleagues. Some people do say thanks or blessings before a meal, some don't, but almost all felt that grace was a religious term.

Surprised by my mini-poll results, I turned to the most reliable source I know - the Dictionary. In the dictionary "grace" is defined many ways, yes some referring to God, but the top tier definitions, the ones that came first before any religious connotations were: a dignified, polite and decent behavior; and a capacity to tolerate, accommodate or forgive people.

I had to go back and read the definitions again. Polite. Accommodating. Forgiving. Dignified. Tolerant. These are characteristics we all strive for, aren't they? Especially where we live, in Los Angeles, where I hear at least four languages on a daily basis and where my kids see no color or faith when choosing their friends.

Even in our community we come across situations where grace is desperately needed: in front of the school during pick-up time, at the mall during the holiday rush, on the freeway, in line at the coffee shop.

I want my kids, and your kids, to be grateful, thankful for what they have and to realize that not everyone is so lucky. I even want them to find the motivation on their own to help others. I want them to be respectful, accommodating and tolerant of other people's traditions.

I want the adults to be polite and dignified in the way they talk about other peoples' celebrations, knowing that what they say gets passed on through their children to my and other children.

This time of year (and anytime throughout the year) can be about embracing grace, no matter what you believe in.

For with grace, we can hopefully build a wonderful community in which to raise decent, polite, tolerant, dignified and forgiving children.

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Submitted By: Richard Poirier

posted on 12/23/2007 @ 1:23:45 AM

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Although being polite, accommodating, forgiving, dignified and tolerant are certainly admirable qualities associated with a graceful person, saying grace at the beginning of a meal is quiet a different ritual. The essence of saying grace is to attribute all that one is thankful for to God as the provider. That is truly religious and not based on the qualities or gratitude of the speaker.

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Submitted By: Jackie Houchin

posted on 11/28/2007 @ 11:44:12 PM

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What a wonderful story, and I support your sentiments wholeheartedly. Oh, that we all showed more GRACE towards each other. Thank you for bringing this to our attention, and congratulations for what you've taught your son.

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Kathleen Melton

Tarzana , CA

Kathleen Melton has posted 20 blog entries and 0 comments since joining on 8/31/2006. Kathleen Melton 's average blog rating is 4.96.

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