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Blog Entry 35 of 51 Something to think about...

An occasional visit to things that make you go "hmmm..." opinions on life in the world close up and far away. By trade, I'm a community reporter covering Santa Clarita and Antelope Valleys for the Daily News, but can't help thinking outside the box sometimes...in the spirit of full disclosure, I'm involved with the Canyon Theatre Guild and Newhall Redevelopment, so history and the arts are pretty important to me. I'm open to discussions, suggestions, criticisms and compliments. I might not like what you say, but I'll defend your right to say it. Shall we?

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Pray tell, here's the new rules for the road

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Contributed by: carol rock on 6/19/2007

The Vatican, apparently having little else to do now that a judge has determined that their confidential personnel files in the Los Angeles Archdiocese are on a slippery slope, has issued a new set of Ten Commandments.

These commandments, unlike the edicts that usually have to do with procreation and recreation or a combination of the two, have to do with driving. Finally, they're writing about something they know instead of something they just guess about. They may be celibate, but everyone has had to take a run down the Appian Way for milk at one time or another.

Cardinal Renato Martino, of the Vatican department that issued the driver guidelines, partly because they deal with all "itinerant" people, which includes refugees, prostitutes and the homeless (tourists were not mentioned specifically), told Associated Press that "we know that as a consequence of transgressions and negligence, 1.2 million people die each year on the roads."

The document cautions drivers against road rage and "primitive" behaviors, such as impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, blasphemy, loss of sense of responsibility or deliberate infringement of the highway code.

Sounds like rush hour on McBean Parkway to me.

Another recommendation from the commandments is to pray while driving, suggesting a recitation of the rosary since the "rhythm and gentle repetition does not distract the driver's attention."

Put the brakes on there, Martino. I grew up Catholic and know I wasn't the only kid in catechism who stressed over losing their place between Hail Marys and Our Fathers. My rosaries always took twice as long because I added extra verses. Just in case.

On the other hand, I have heard several drivers refer to God while traveling the streets of the SCV. Maybe they're ahead of the game, except for they use his street name, which seems to have a lot more syllables.

At any rate, don't be surprised when you hear the following (without the editorial comments) from a pulpit near you on Sunday:

1. You shall not kill. (A good one, borrowing from the Original)
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm. (Those of you driving raised pickup trucks and over-tricked-out sedans, slow the heck down. We're not impressed. We are, however, making fun of you behind our steering wheels.)
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforseen events. (Two drivers duking it out over a fender bender always ensures a crowd .)
4. Be charitable and help your neighbors in need, especially victims of accidents. (Be nice, don't rubberneck)
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin. (I'm thinking the Vatican guy in charge of recreational procreation had to throw in his two cents here. The first part is definitely aimed at the aforementioned truck and Acuras-with-spoiler drivers.)
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so. (Wait, don't these guys live in Italy? Have you seen how Italians drive in Rome?)
7. Support the families of accident victims. (See: Be nice)
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness. (Hmm. Most accident victims reunited with the drivers who made them that way aren't looking for forgiveness, they're looking to get their cars fixed and medical bills paid.)
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party. (Don't aim at the coyotes...)
10. Feel responsible toward others. (Yup. That's pretty basic. If everyone accepted responsibility for their actions, we could let the guys in hats go back to praying and throwing great parties in Vatican square.)

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