I was confronted yesterday by something that took me by complete surprise and caught me so off guard I'm sure you could see the astonished look in my eyes. An acquaintance that I had not seen in a few years asked me how my son was and I proudly stated that he was great and pursuing a career in the military - her response and reaction to hearing these words was as insensitive as it was unwelcomed. I have to add that from this experience I have come to realize that I've grown as a person over the years because the "old" me would have verbally attacked this person and caused a scene right at the moment the selfish and condescending words she spoke left her mouth. I didn't choose to do this - what I chose to do was allow this woman her opinion, right or wrong, and allowed myself to withstand the punishing and foolish comments she was making. But as I lay in bed that night, it bothered me; it bothered me that someone could be so ignorant and felt the need to place their ignorance before me. And so there I lay in my mind going through the deluge of words I would have spewed at her. Basically replaying what I would have said to her face if I would have been the "old" me. So here I now sit writing the words which in hindsight I probably should have said to her face to face.
My son is following a military path and enthusiastically pursuing the Marines. Yes, there are pros and cons to the future he is choosing, but I support him nonetheless. For you see, his passion drives him to achieve new goals, it pushes him to be the best that he can be (no pun intended), it provides structure and discipline. He's learning teamwork and leadership and has met many mentors to help him reach his goals along the way. I am proud of him and his strong will to succeed. And I am proud to tell anyone who asks these same things. But in this instance I received such negativity and judgment. This woman sneered and commented that "As a Jewish mother, I would never allow my son to go into the military" and "how could you even support your son in doing such a thing!" It was as if I had told her my son committed murder and was now serving time in prison and that I supported him for it! As I laid in bed that night going over the conversation in my head, I realized that this woman was exercising her right to her opinion and her right to "not allow" her son to go in to the military, her and her son's right to choose. She was exercising her right as a Jewish woman and mother to speak out about the choices she would make, and what makes this so ironic, the choices she has were provided by our men and women in uniform over the decades. Men like my son who fought for our independence and freedom that we now take for granted. In her ranting and opinion strewn comments, she was ignorantly missing the fact that her beliefs, her choices and her freedom of speech were provided by the very people she opposed.
Men like my son freed her Jewish descendents from the concentration camps and fought the very regime that tried to eliminate them. Men like my son kept us from having to learn German as our first language. Men like my son gave her the freedom to be Jewish and a woman without conviction. Men like my son continue to protect her freedom of speech, religion and opinion. Men like my son represent our country and all the diverse people that inhabit it. Men like my son fight for all of us, the rich, the poor, the old and the young. They give us a voice, where we have none.
No matter your opinion about politics and war, no matter what you support or protest, our men and women in uniform fight to allow us to exercise these rights. No matter where you stand on any issue, you should always and without hesitation stand behind our men and woman in uniform and be proud of what they do for us, as I am so very proud of my son for wanting to be just like them.
Kathy D. Hawk