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Blog Entry 1 of 3 Really, what has love got to do with it?

I am not your third-base-by-the-third-date kind of girl. In fact, any relationship with the third-base-by-the-third-date strategy is highly unlikely to end up in a World Series championship. Nevertheless, the question begs to be answered: Why is singlehood no longer celebrated? Or, even worse, why are singles considered to be a minority? Prepare to be stimulated…not in the way you imagine, but with brazen sass, a scotch of cynicism and a flailing belief in everlasting lust, err, love.

Blog Url: http://valleynews.com/~Inloveandwar

Institution of love: The demise of younger culture

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Contributed by: Elisha Maldonado on 3/29/2007

Love is in the air ... I say a little too much.

All around me couples are professing their undying love for one another. Women my age have "found the love of their life."

And I ask aghast, "How on earth, at 20-years-old, have you found someone to spend the rest of your life with?"

Whatever happened to the empowerment of being a single woman?

Women all around me marry young, have children young, and, for some, discover when it's too late, they never followed a dream because they were too busy being in love.

I was told recently a 16-year-old high school junior married with her mother's consent.

I plead for understanding.

I was just graduating from high school when a good friend of mine started dating a guy she met on a blind date. In high school how could one expect her peers to set her up on a date that could potentially end up in a long-term relationship, I thought? Really, high school students aren't known for the longevity of their trysts.

Nonetheless, she went on the date and "fell in love."

I admit I was skeptical.

My best friend, Jill, and I were sitting in one of the senior-level classes we shared when she calmly walked into the room and let her left hand drop, which withstood the weight of a large diamond ring.

They had been dating for two months, and were now set to say "till death do us part."

I was stunned. I still am. I was just waiting for it all to fall apart. It didn't, but the dynamics changed entirely.

No longer were we high school students readying to embark on a journey of self-discovery. No, we were seniors planning a wedding. I was happy for her, if that is what she wanted, but I couldn't figure out what college I was going to attend much less attach myself to someone forever.

Let it be known, I am not a pessimist about love; I am merely raising a few healthy questions. (Although, I am mainly skeptical.)

How do young people understand forever, when they have just begun to plan their future?

Most comical to me is when I hear girls say, "I have found the love of my life, and I am so in love with my boyfriend. We have been dating since we were in the sixth grade." Yet they follow that declaration with a comment degrading themselves, and I wonder, "How can you love someone wholeheartedly without loving yourself a little?

Admittedly, the years of our early 20s are the most selfish. I know I want to live life for no one else. I want to make something of my life and not have to think of anyone but me.

I have been told that is a selfish thing to say, and I agree.

It's interesting that in the Greek literature piece, "Orestaia" every time marriage was mentioned, death was mentioned, too. Which poses the thought, "Is love just hate with a different angle?

It used to be common for people to marry for compatibility, financial benefit, or simply because they turned 15. It was simply the thing to do. And even in marrying someone he or she didn't love, in most cases, the divorce rate wasn't high at all. Now, in a generation who claims they only marry for love, the divorce rate is continually climbing.

American actress Mae West said, "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."

Who wants to bind themselves at 18, 19 or 20 to an institution of making decisions with someone else in mind?

Ironically, in a report from the U.S. Census Bureau on Oct. 16, 2006, more than 14 million households are headed by single women and another five million by single men. According to the report by the bureau, rural communities of the Midwest, farm states in the Great Plains, and the West hold the traditionalism of marriage, while larger metropolitan hubs such as New York and Los Angeles lean toward individualism and/or cohabitation.

Perhaps my youth, spent in the midwest, contributes to my disdain of all the young entanglements.

I'll let you know my complaint is marriage per se; it is the idea young people feel they must find validation in having someone else.

Of course, the glorification of famous couples and their children leave something to be desired among impressionable women.

In "The Republic of Plato," Plato divided the general population into three classes: reason, appetite and spirit. Philosophers are goverened by reason, civilians by appetite and pleasure and executive forces by spirit and action.

The appetites are desires, and, of course, lust being found among the top.

Plato suggested when one gives into their appetite for lust they become slave to it.

This is what I imagine people who marry too young are doing: giving into their desires before the time is right, therefore, becoming slaves.

This is my fear, although I don't know why, because I obviously haven't married that young and wouldn't get married now.

I don't just want to fall in love and for the rest of my life be known as one half of a married couple with children.

I want to cohabitate in a world of success, where I do my job, he does his, and we meet at home too late in the evening. I want to love someone I can live without, but just don't want to.

I suppose then I will know I have found the love of my life.

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