This morning started out the same as most work day mornings. I had finished my 30 minute ritual of waking up, cleaning up, dressing up, and walking to the kitchen for my morning cup of coffee. The Daily News was already on the table as I had brought it in around 5 a.m., right after walking my wife to her car (she leaves the house one hour before I have to get out of bed). I read through the main, business and sports sections, then turned to the ValleyNews.com edition. There it was on page 7: some poor sap was paying for his daughter's wedding, which meant big bucks. As I looked closer I realized I was the poor sap. So, what is it like to be the father of the bride? Let me take you through my George Banks (character played by Steve Martin) version.

The journey started with a phone call from Brian (the hopeful groom-to-be) who wanted to follow the traditions of the past by calling his girlfriend's father to ask permission for her hand in marriage. After I said yes, I turned the phone over to my wife so she could give her blessing. The question you're dying to ask at this point (like a lot of people have done) is, "Do you like him enough to let him be your son-in-law?" The simple answer is: yes, we both like him a lot.

Over the next several weeks, the wedding plans began in earnest. Where would the wedding be? In Northern California where they went to college and lived (he in Fremont and she in Sunnyvale), or Southern California where she was born and raised? Well, the bride-to-be (BTB) decided she wanted a So Cal beach wedding. So on a weekend trip home, Mom, Dad, and the BTB spent the weekend traveling from Santa Barbara to Santa Monica (with stops in between). After touring some very nice hotels, we decided on the Mandalay Beach Resort in Oxnard, Calif. The resort provides wedding services right on the beach with a great view of the ocean and a honeymoon suite.

Now that the place was set, it was time to decide who would perform the ceremony as the family had three very strong candidates. In the end, the BTB chose Pastor Erik Kirk, her former youth pastor. This was another good choice since I was a church council member who, some years back, supported the hiring of this very young, long-haired man. I figured this was worth a discounted rate on the minister's fees.

The BTB and her mother spent hours on phone calls and e-mails as the plans evolved to include selection of the florist, bakery (wedding cake), caterer, wedding dress, male attire (appropriate for a beach wedding), and the music. Now the mother of the bride gets credit for selecting the band. It turns out she has had this band come to her warehouse in Riverside to perform at Christmas time for the staff, and like the minister, we got them at wholesale rather than retail (good job, honey). The band known as The Others, with lead singer Cooper Bayliss, had also performed one Saturday in my own backyard. My wife had them provide music for my 50th birthday party (great band).

There have been at least four round-trip plane flights and one trip by car for the BTB (Brian has been down once also) for dress fittings and to meet with her cousin Bea, the maid of honor. Brian's parents also came down for a Wedding Expo that was held at the hotel. Both families got to see various florists, bakeries, caterers (with samples of various menu items), and admire gift items for the wedding party. Brian's parents used the time to select a site for the wedding rehearsal dinner.

Oh, did I mention that I have been in the food business longer than the couple has been alive (a speech I often give students from Cal Poly Pomona)? My daughter has followed in my footsteps by working for the same management company as I, as a dining room and catering manager at Menlo College; she hopes to be an event planner in the future. We made sure the hotel and caterer knew we represented over 35 years in the food business. While this has helped us plan well, we did not get a better deal because of it. As a plus we have Heidi (my daughter's boss), who volunteered to alleviate the bride's mother of any fears or worry by making sure everything at the reception will go off without a hitch.

Watching the catering staff sweat as Heidi makes them keep to the schedule? - Priceless.

We are now less than three weeks away from the wedding and there is still more to do and coordinate. Look for the next installment of this story as I tell you about the search for a cake maker and a florist (one poor florist should find another profession).